Or Whatever!! Homeschooling- You Might Be A Homeschooler If...

Going to the grocery store is considered both a "field trip" and a "math lesson" because they get out during regular school hours and are doing math by adding up the cost of the groceries as you go along.

You can't put your produce in your cart without asking your older student to estimate it's weight and verify accuracy.

You can't make it through the grocery produce department without asking your preschooler the name and color of every vegetable.

You spend more on books than on groceries.

You know you homeschool when you are out with your kids at Wal-Mart at 11pm with your kids and people look at you like "Why do you have your kids out so late on a school night?" Simply because it doesn't dawn on you that it IS a school night!!

Your yearbook is your baby book, too.

On long days, lunch is 2 hours long.......since you can't get the motivation up to get going again once you stop!!!!!!

The only debate about the school lunch program is whose turn it is to cook.

Your formal dining room now has a computer, copy machine, and many bookshelves and there are educational posters and maps all over the walls.

You exclaim that the unknown dish in the fridge isn't because you need to clean, but because of science experiments!

Your teacher has ever written your grade card on a napkin.

You give people a tour of your house and keep taking them back to the dining room repeatedly as you mention the dining room, library, school room, lab, craft room, etc.

You ask for, and get a copier instead of a diamond tennis bracelet for your wedding anniversary.

Your ceiling fan is transformed to a solar system chandelier.

Science lab consists of watching baked potatoes blow up because your kids forgot to poke holes in them before putting them in the microwave or oven!! (This is what happens when air expands and it doesn't have a place to go!)

Your biology lab consisted of assisting in your sibling's birth.

Your honor student can actually read the bumper sticker that you have put on your car.

You live in a one-house schoolroom.

You have a nursery, daycare, elementary school, middle school, highschool, and testing facilities all in one room.

You have mealworms growing in a container....on purpose.

Your husband can walk in at the end of a long day and tell how the science experiment went just by looking at the house.

Your family pays for cable just to watch PBS, The Discovery Channel, and The History Channel.

You can't make it through a movie without pointing out the historical inaccuracies.

Your kids think reading history is best accomplished while lying on the floor with their head resting on the side of their patient dog.

You have to sing "Around the World" mentally to figure out where Sunday's guest missionary from Benin actually lives.

You get stares all through your meal because your small 7 year old is reading the headlines out loud and getting things right such as "Evidence gathered by the Drug Enforcement Administration since a series of raids in January indicates that a methamphetamine drug operation...." and then goes on to have a discussion showing how well he understands what he is reading.

Your kids learn new vocabulary from their extensive collection of "Calvin & Hobbes" books.

Your children start coming up with curriculum ideas of their own: "Mom, can I make myself a Robin Hood hat for language arts?"

You step on math papers on your early morning stumble to the bathroom.

You find yourself evaluating the aerobic value of vacuuming so you can log it under physical education.

Your child will never suffer the embarrassment of group showers after PE class.

Classes are cancelled because there's a hockey game on!

Your child gets drugs at school, it's probably Tylenol.

The teacher gets to kiss the principal in the faculty lounge and no one gossips.

You take off for a teacher in-service day because the principal needs clean underwear.

You never have to drive your child's forgotten lunch to school.

Talking out loud to yourself is a parent/teacher conference.

The lessons your kids learn in the classroom will have POSITIVE bearing on their future!!!!!

You never have to face the dilemma of whether to take your child's side or the teacher's side in a dispute at school.

You have to look at the clock to see if you can call your public school friends yet.

Your kids refer to the neighbor kids as "government school inmates."

Your school bus is a 12-passenger van.

Your child claims that the dog ate his homework, you can ask the dog.

You have to decide what clothes to wear to graduate in.

Your diploma signatures all have the same last name as the students.

Your neighbors think you are insane.

Some day your children will consider you to be a miracle-working expert and will turn to you for advice.

You get to change more than diapers; you get to change their minds.

-Author Unknown

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