Dairy of a NEW Oklahoman
May 1st:
Just moved to Oklahoma! Now this is a state that knows how to live!!
Beautiful sunny days and warm balmy evenings. What a place! It is beautiful. I've finally found my home. I love it here.
May 10th:
Turned the TV on earlier to see what's going on. Found out the noise I heard was the tornado sirens and the weatherman was saying to get underground. A state that has tornadoes, but no basements here. Had to take cover in the tub. Luckily it wasn't real close to me. A neighbor said the humidity will be getting higher. Not sure what that means, though.
May 25th:
It's 85 degrees right now. I'm dripping wet from sweat just walking from the car to the front door and the air is thick and hard to breathe. I think I'm beginning to understand what humidity means.
June 7th:
Really heating up. Got to 100 today. Not a problem. Live in an air-conditioned home, drive an air-conditioned car. What a pleasure to see the sun everyday like this. I'm turning into a sun worshipper. Humidity is 85% today, must be getting ready to rain.
June 23rd:
Had the backyard landscaped with western plants today. Lots of cactus and rocks. What a breeze to maintain. No more mowing the lawn for me. Another scorcher today, but I love it here. Still waiting on the rain.
July 3rd:
The temperature hasn't been below 100 all week. How do people get used to this kind of heat? At least, it's kind of windy though. Getting used to the heat is taking longer than I expected. Doesn't the humidity ever cease?
July 8th:
Fell asleep by the community pool. Got 3rd degree burns over 60% of my body. Missed 3 days of work. What a dumb thing to do. I learned my lesson though. Got to respect the ole sun in a climate like this. Finally rained- more like a mini hurricane. Got 8 inches in 30 minutes. Wind ripped my fence down- it's now 4 blocks away, not even sure where my patio furniture is now. By the way, I really know what humidity is now!
July 13th:
I missed Lomita (my cat) sneaking into the car when I left this morning. By the time I got to the hot car at noon, Lomita had died and swollen up to the size of a shopping bag, then popped like a water balloon. The car now smells like Kibbles and Bits. I learned my lesson though. No more pets in this heat.
July 18th:
The wind sucks. It feels like a giant blow dryer!! And it's hot as hell. The home air-conditioner is on the frizz and the AC repairman charged $200 just to drive by and tell me he needed to order parts.
July 23rd:
Been sleeping outside on the patio for 3 nights now, $225,000 house and I can't even go inside. Lomita is the lucky one. Why did I ever come here?
Aug. 4th:
It's 115 degrees. Finally got the air-conditioner fixed today. It cost $500 and gets the temperature down to 85. I hate this stupid state.
Aug. 6th:
If another person cracks, "Hot enough for you today?" I'm going to strangle him. Darn heat. By the time I get to work, the radiator is boiling over, my clothes are soaking wet, and I smell like baked cat!!
Aug. 7th:
Tried to run some errands after work. Wore shorts, and when I sat on the seats in the car, I thought my butt was on fire. My skin melted to the seat. I lost 2 layers of flesh and all the hair on the back of my legs. Now my car smells like burnt hair, fried butt, & baked cat.
Aug 8th:
108 today. The weather report might as well be a darn recording. Hot, sunny and humid. Hot, sunny and humid. It's been too hot to do anything for 2 darn days and the weatherman says it might really warm up next week. Doesn't it ever rain in this damn state? Water rationing will be next, so my $1700 worth of cactus will just dry up and blow over. Even the cactus can't live in this heat.
Aug. 14th:
Welcome to HELL! Temperature got to 117 today. Cactus are dead. Forgot to crack the window and blew the windshield out of the car. The installer came to fix it and guess what he asked me??? "Hot enough for you today?" My sister had to spend $1,500 to bail me out of jail. FREAKING Oklahoma. What kind of a sick demented idiot would want to live here??
Will write later to let you know how the trial goes.
|
